The Greatest Thing a Woman Can Do For a Man

Posted by on Jun 11, 2012 in Writing | 142 Comments

Below is a guest post by my lovely fiancé, Alyssa Fenton. You can chat with her, give her feedback, or ask her something on her twitter here. I know she’d love to hear from you. Man, I’m so thankful for this woman and thankful she prays for me. Hope the below post encourages.

I was sitting on a yellow vintage couch in a beautiful home in Maui. I remember studying God’s truth with a few ladies my age. For a month we were going to go through the book “How to Pray for Your Future Husband” by Robin Jones Gunn. None of us were married, or were even dating for that matter.

 

One quote by her I’ll never forget though. It said, “Ladies, pray for your men. Satan’s game plan is to take down the leaders, the men. Only God’s Spirit can draw a man to seek Him and free him to be the man, and leader God wants for him to be. Whether you marry or not, DO BATTLE! Pray!”

 

Do battle I thought?

 

Me?

 

The girl whose dad laughed at the army recruiter when they called my house seeing if I wanted to join the army my senior year?

 

The girl who, although has gone on adventures all over the world, is scared to go on public buses, walk the streets of downtown L.A., and walk from my car to my house at night?

 

But I’ll never forget that afternoon, sitting there with those women, moved to the very depths of my soul, my spirit stirred deep within, saying “Yes! Fight for our men.”

 

My heart has been so heavy lately for boys and men in our culture. On average, boys are exposed to pornography at age 8-11. No longer is it a question of if they’ve seen porn or not, but whether or not they’re addicted, and most are. Video games are rampant in our culture. The most popular among games are ones that include high violence, and advancement to the next level is achieved by killing a certain number of people.

 

I see boys becoming apathetic, lazy, rebellious, angry. They have contests at school to see who can get the lowest GPA. They revel in one-night stands. They compete, trying to sleep with the most girls, or better yet, sleep with the most wanted girls. Boys are staying boys well into their 30′s, living at home and having their moms provide for them. So many boys grow up without fathers at home, or if they are home, they may not be present.

 

So where do these boys learn to be men?

 

MTV?

 

The radio?

 

Older friends?

 

I’ve seen this over and over the past 3 years interning for the youth ministry at my church, and now working at a Christian high school.

 

It’s so easy for me to get sad, disheartened and discouraged. Where have all the good men gone!? What’s going to become of this next generation!? What’s going to happen when I have kids?

 

Have you ever found yourself asking these same questions?

 

There is nothing more that Satan wants than to steal, kill and destroy us. (John 10:10) And the best way to do that is to take down our men. God created men to be our leaders. When you go into battle, the goal is always to take down the leaders, the commanders, the king, because once they fall, you’ve got them all.

 

There is a battle going on that we can’t see. Most of us most likely won’t go into the army, we may not play sports, and we may be afraid to ride public transportation! But we are called to fight. Ladies, the time has come. Rise up. Commit yourself to prayer. Take up your shield of faith and the sword of the spirit.

 

AND PRAY.

 

FERVENTLY.

 

WHOLE-HEARTEDLY.

 

CONTINUALLY. 

 

We as women have a high calling on our lives. We have the joy of going before our Father’s throne and uplifting the men in our lives to Him. To the King of Kings. The Loving Father. The Holy God. The Mighty One. He is all-powerful and He is more than able to change hearts, stir in spirits, give wisdom to the humble, lead the weak, and give power. He sees us. He knows our hearts. He is raising up men for this generation to be like Him, to serve Him, to be laborers among the harvest, to disciple younger men, and you have the opportunity to join in on His work.

 

Don’t just pray for your future husband. Pray for your brother, father, pastors, professors, and friends.

 

Don’t sit on the sidelines and watch.

 

Gear up. Bow down. And pray. Watch God work, change, transform, and move in these men. He is faithful. He hears our cries. DO BATTLE. 

 

“For a people shall dwell in Zion, in Jerusalem; you shall weep no more. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry. As soon as He hears it, He answers you” (Isaiah 30:19 ESV).

 

Ladies, do you pray for the men in your life?

 

 

142 Comments

  1. Sara
    June 11, 2012

    Thanks for writing that! I think the “writing letters to your future spouse” or even praying for them is a bit cheesy, but I like that you mention praying for the men in our lives now, like our Dad’s, brothers, pastors, etc.

    Reply
    • nicole
      June 11, 2012

      It does sound cheesy — but our youth group leader encouraged us to do this when I was 15, and I wrote a letter to my future husband telling him the things I really needed in a man… #1 being that he loved God and #2 that he’d always be faithful in heart and body to me. Because I had written it out, I really internalized my list and waited until I was 25 to say yes to marrying my now-husband. I dated enough guys in between to swear off dating anyone for a while- because I knew I deserved the one I had prayed for. I’m SO glad for that influence when I was 15! At almost 30, my husband has certainly hurt me at times, but he is without a doubt the man I prayed for – and still pray for. Praying for him has really helped me to hold my expectations high – but also to be able to love him as he completely deserves.

      Reply
      • Erin
        June 11, 2012

        This is such an encouraging blog and I especially loved this comment! I haven’t done a lot of dating, though I’m 18 years old and attended a public school. Still never held hands or been kissed and I have been told by God on more than one occasion that my man will come but that he doesn’t deserve me yet, and I know that I don’t yet deserve him. I’m all about lists and update my list every 2-3 years of what I want in a man. The basics stay the same- Must love God above even me, Must love me above all others, must love others above himself but still have strong self esteem (or shall I say God-esteem.) I have never told my future husband these things, only talked to God in my journal and talked of course with girl friends. I love this idea, though somewhat cheesey and I’m thankful you posted this comment! God is sooo GOOD!

        Reply
        • Robin
          June 11, 2012

          I really enjoyed this blog and totally agree. and Erin, wow I felt like I was reading my own words, though I’m now 20. This is like me to a tee. and I am just waiting patiently for God to bring the right person along. I trust that it’s his timing because he knows what’s best. He is preparing both of us first before we can be together. I am building my relationship with God and becoming who he wants me to be before I can give myself to someone. you know? and I do pray for my future husband occassionally, I am on fire for God and i want someone who is just as fired up if not more. so i totally agree with you on what a man should be and what I want. and now thanks to this blog i think i will also be praying for the other men in my life: like my little brother who’s just heading into his teen years. It’s nice to know I’m not alone =] good thing im a patient person ahhaa

          Reply
          • Erin
            August 28, 2012

            Thank you for responding and what really stood out to me is you saying you want to pray for your little brother. I will pray for your little brother too. And I hope you will pray for mine. he’s young and worldly, has “accepted God” but stubbornly doesn’t let Him change him. Pray he’ll be strong in highschool. But not controlling. Loving but not compromising. And that God Himself will get ahold of Him. Not the idea of God saving him, please pray that God will touch his life and that he’ll never be the same. And I will pray for your little brother. Thank you, your sister in Christ,
            Erin Nicole

          • Erin
            August 28, 2012

            Also, I read your comment again and find it so encouraging that your story is like mine to a tee! A sister who understands me! :D if you ever come check this blog, know that I have been so encouraged by your reply and, this may sound crazy, but I hope we can be friends! And encourage each other! Love, Erin Nicole!

        • Brian
          June 12, 2012

          Erin,
          Your future husband will definitely appreciate all that you have done and are doing for him already. Prayer is so powerful and not to be underestimated. Pray for him…every day if you can. And use this period in your life to focus on God and grow in your relationship with him, that way you will be prepared to be an amazing Godly wife. You must strive to be the person that the type of guy want to be your husband would want in a wife. Guard yourself…your heart, your emotions, and physically. These are precious gifts to give your husband. He will so very much cherish your purity and everything you are doing to sacrifice now and wait for him. Every thing you give to guys now are things you won’t be able to give your husband. God will provide you with the right guy when the time is right. BE PATIENT. And remember…even if you are engaged, he is not your husband yet!

          I recently got engaged to the most amazing girl. I would encourage you to read our story on my blog. http://www.ajourneyworthtaking.com

          Reply
          • Erin
            August 28, 2012

            Brian,
            I have subscribed to your blog and am not sure which one tells your story. I appreciate so much your encouragement, especially being that you’re a guy who says I can do it. A lot of men in my life have told me waiting is silly and that men are all the same. It’s always so encouraging to “meet” guys like you and Jefferson Bethke who waited and encourage others to wait and who fervently love their women. I will continue to pray for my husband and save myself in body, mind and spirit for him. God is so good and faithful. In His time, I know it will be worth the wait and I will continue to stand for God and love Him above all else even after I marry. Thank you again for your wisdom, I look forward to reading your blog! Erin Nicole

          • Becky
            September 2, 2012

            Brian,

            Your message has really touched and inspired me. Recently, i’ve become incredibly frustrated and almost of tired of waiting for God to send me my husband, but thanks to you I now realise that I should cherish this period of time in which I am single in order to grow close to God, and learn what it is to be a good, Godly wife.

        • Brandon
          June 12, 2012

          Amen! These blogs are very encouraging to us Men of God keep praying please! We need it! And if you girls truly want a prince and to be treated like a princes as sons and daughters of the King (Jesus) it is our duty to pray for one another and to seek the honor of one day being a King and Queen for eachother and to the world which has no leader except for the enemy and his hosts of demonic realms. Rise up and fight! PRAY love God and seek purity at all costs! The man who sins sexually sins against his own body! Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God! Amen!

          Reply
      • lashonda moore
        June 11, 2012

        Awesome!! I will also continue to pray from my now fiancé and future husband. :) THANK YOU SO MUCH, ITS NOT CHEESY ITS REAL!!!

        Reply
      • Miranda Powell
        June 11, 2012

        I love this blog post. While reading, I got convicted to pray for my brother and dad, that I am so very thankful in my life, to rise to the occasion and be the leaders of this generation that is so corrupt. My brother and dad have been so amazing to me and I have been so blessed. The reason for that is because I serve a God that loves me enough to bless me with GREAT Christian family members. I am still going to pray against Satan that he will not have his way in the lives of men in my life!
        I continued to the comments and was really inspired by Nicole. I don’t know her but her story is just like mine. I am currently 15 years old and my mom has encouraged my two sisters and I to make a list to pray over for our future husband. I have been doing that for a couple of years now and just met someone that I have been searching for and He is everything I have prayed for on that list. I can’t wait for what God is going to do in my life knowing that He is large and in charge! He has amazed me time after time and I thank Him for never turning His back on me.
        Thanks again for this Blog!

        Reply
    • Ashley Reynolds
      June 11, 2012

      Thank you so much for this post! God is working through you. I have been ignoring the gospel lately and skipping out on church. You just gave me the motivation I needed to fight the battle against Satan and pray for the men in my life to lead. I am 17 years old and a senior in high school, hoping to find the man of my dreams, but I know God has a plan for me and his timing is perfect. Thanks for the encouragement to “do battle”!

      Reply
    • Samantha
      June 11, 2012

      Thank you for this…you did a wonderful job capturing one of the many jobs we hold as women. Sometimes I believe we do not realize (as women) that our role is so significant when it comes to the relationship we have with our husbands and with God. There are so many ways in which we can help them to fight off the evil that lurks in every dark corner of our lives…! Great piece…I definitely shared it with others.

      Reply
    • Kim
      June 12, 2012

      I agree totally! Prayed for several yrs for God to reach my current husband and touch his heart and his soul and help him to be the child HE created him to be! I know it suprised a lot of people when he rededicated his life to the Lord and turned away from certain things in his life that he had needed to for a very long time and he has been a good, loyal, loving, faithful husband, father, and servant to the Lord since! We both continue daily to ask for the strength and guidance from God that we need to serve him and be examples to our children and others. I pray for our sons, our daughter’s husband and our other daughter’s future husband. I pray for my brothers, dad, step-dad, all the soldiers in my son’s platoon, and our countries leaders! I know God hears us and that he answers prayer…ESPECIALLY WHEN WE ARE PRAYING IN THE WAY HE HAS COMMANDED US…FOR OUR MEN! Very nice post and so very accurate!

      Reply
    • Candice
      June 12, 2012

      You could look at it as cheesy or as putting your faith into action – God honours that – Faith without works is dead. Just speaking from personal experience.
      Thank you Alyssa for posting this I stand in agreement 100% that in this age more than ever this is the best stance we can take.
      The battle is His, the victory is ours. What an amazing God we serve :)

      Reply
  2. Melanie Frantz
    June 11, 2012

    I have wondered all these things, especially for my 3 yr old boy. I have lived through relationships that were destroyed because of pornography. I pray and know that my 3 yr old doesnt have to fall into the “boys will be boys” catagory. I pray earnestly everyday for my son and now after reading this my husband! Thank you:)

    Reply
    • jeffbethke
      June 11, 2012

      melanie so thankful for you! your boy is blessed to be prayed over that early!

      Reply
  3. Sarah T
    June 11, 2012

    Absolutely beautifully put. I loved this strong, encouraging message. I am a single college student that worries about many of the things you listed that the devil is trying to conquer in this world, and the power of prayer with our heavenly Father can most certainly rise against and overcome the devil’s evil hand. Thank you so much for the encouragement to pray for these men!!!

    Reply
  4. rianté pillay
    June 11, 2012

    I so agree with you on this one!!! My mum taught both my sister and I to pray specifically for our future husbands from our teen years; often we may overlook the power of prayer!

    I simply love this posting and am most certainly sharing it ;)

    Reply
  5. Christina
    June 11, 2012

    Such a wonderful post! Satan’s tricks aren’t new… He’s going after the strong, the leaders among us. Time to do spiritual warfare, ladies!

    Reply
  6. Julie
    June 11, 2012

    This is so true! Thank you for the reminder ~ I am going to pray right now for my husband to be the leader God has called him to be and that with His strength my husband will turn from the temptations that Satan uses to pull him away from his family, that he will guide his children in the way the Lord would have him do so, and that I will love him, support him, lift him up daily through my words, actions, and prayers. Thank you, again for the reminder ~ it is truly appreciated!

    Reply
  7. Cori Siggins
    June 11, 2012

    Thank you SO much for the reminder!!! Please keep writting! God is going to use you and the things to have to say in mighty ways!

    Reply
  8. Dasha
    June 11, 2012

    This! This is what so many women need to hear! Well put! We go through our lives hoping we will find the man we are meant to be with, but only do we realize we must pray for them. Give them strength to become the man they ARE meant to be. Well done!

    Reply
  9. Meg
    June 11, 2012

    Wow, I’ve never seen it that way. Good message. Something every young lady needs to think about and do.

    Reply
  10. Carrie
    June 11, 2012

    Amen. Thank you for the reminder to pray for the men in my life and the men in my country, Alyssa! Your blog ironically ties in with another post I read today about how the enemy can distort love and war in men’s lives (http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/fake-love-fake-war-why-so-many-men-are-addicted-to-internet-porn-and-video-games). I hope many will read your post and will begin to pray against the attacks of the enemy in the lives of our men.

    Reply
  11. Amanda
    June 11, 2012

    That was beautiful! Thank you for the reminder. :)

    Reply
  12. Kenya
    June 11, 2012

    Oh my gosh this is so encourging I am going to share it with all my friends. I believe the LORD gave me this to read for I was discourged now I am encourged to PRAY. Thank you and God bless you !!!

    Reply
  13. elizabeth
    June 11, 2012

    wow! very inspiring call to action

    Reply
  14. Rebecca
    June 11, 2012

    Thanks :) I agree with you. We should rise up; could you give some practical pointers on how we do that? how do we pray for these men?

    Reply
    • jeffbethke
      June 11, 2012

      rebecca, ill pass this off to alyssa, but you can try hitting her up through twitter too! maybe she can do a follow up post on practical ways to pray for men? it could be a sequel :)

      Reply
    • Lyss
      June 11, 2012

      Hi Rebecca,
      Great idea! Yes, I’ll follow up with some things to pray for :) Love your heart!

      Reply
      • Antoinette
        June 11, 2012

        That would be awesome :)

        Thanks Rebecca for asking that. I was just wondering where to start? as i have a brither that just became a husband to an incredible Godly woman and i recently got in contact with my Father that wasnt a part of our lives for 15years. it would be great to know what to pray for and where/how to start doing warfare :)

        Reply
  15. WhatMoreCanISay
    June 11, 2012

    I really needed this message. When my fiance and I first met we were both in the beginning stages of developing relationships with God, so naturally we embarked on the journey together, and it was great. As time went on we both sort of lost our hunger for seeking the Lord, and didn’t really feel the closeness or joy we did in the beginning. We would talk about it all the time, how we needed to get back to where we were before. In a way I had become sort of dependent on him. I wanted us to read the Bible together, to discuss God together, etc., because in the beginning I literally felt like I had a higher connection to God through him. I don’t know if that makes sense, but that’s the only way I can explain it. Eventually I found myself getting geared up to jump into Christ when he would agree, but when he fizzled out, so would I. About a month ago I came to a point where I decided I had to do it with our without him. I’ve been reading the word every single day, I’ve been praying, reflecting, self-evaluating, practicing the word, etc. I feel my joy has returned, and I just feel the presence of the Lord. Although he definitely has a relationship with God, I can’t help but feel that I’ve sort of left him behind. On one hand I know that these are things I need to do with or without him, but it feels so much better when I know that he’s there too. When I’m walking is such faith again, not worrying about anything, and feeling such joy, it’s very noticeable when he lacks faith and get’s down about things, and just gets unhappy a lot. It’s sort of a downer, and I can clearly see the Devil attacking him, but no matter what I say, or how much I encourage him, he just stays down. I know what I need to do now. I need to go to God and fight for him. I need to pray for his strength and for him to find that hunger and faith that he once had. I feel much better because I feel that it’s God’s will for him to be close to him again, so I know that he will help guide him through whatever he’s going through and restore his joy. Sorry this was so long, but thanks again. =)

    Reply
    • Lyss
      June 11, 2012

      Thank you for sharing your heart. How wonderful that the Lord has drawn you close to Himself and you have an intimate relationship with Him. I think we as believers all go through dry seasons, seasons where we aren’t as close to the Lord. He is faithful. He never leaves us, but longs for us to come home to His heart. Pray for your husband. I heard a testimony of a woman one time who would wake up in the middle of the night for years, and put her hand on her husband, and pray for his salvation. I love that! Don’t lose hope. Keep praying. I love the passage in 1 Peter 3:1-6 which talks about winning our husbands to Christ through our respectful, pure conduct and a heart that trusts and hopes in God. He is with you and hears your cries.

      Reply
  16. Rochelle
    June 11, 2012

    I definitely battle. I pray for the men in my life as much as I can. This is true. Amen.

    Reply
  17. stephanie
    June 11, 2012

    Wow that was great it is so true. It really ministered to my heart. I’m not married but I have a son gonna be eight in September we need to fight for our men thank you

    Reply
    • jeffbethke
      June 11, 2012

      thanks stephanie! as a son of a single mother, i can truthfully say single moms are the most impactful people on the planet!

      Reply
  18. Lawrence
    June 11, 2012

    At the age of 7 years old I was introudce to sex while my parents were in bed have sex I was right next be side them hereing every noise that I can remeber then at the age of 9 years old my dad started to bring porn in the house my mom didn’t know so I kept it to myself feeling mad at my self and the world. I had stop for a while but I still had all thougth and stuff in my head. So I pray and ask God to help me. But one day we had move to a new town new place new school ect. So I meet some new friends that I though they were my true friends but the weren’t . So all the old men came right back and I started to look at to fill the void space that was hurt so bad. So at the age of 19 years old I had to make a chose porn or Jesus christ , I chose Jesus christ because I know that he can fill in that void and give me a new understanding on porn and what it’s true meaning behind it. Thank you God Bless you

    Reply
  19. Pitokali
    June 11, 2012

    Praise God our men are rising from the grave as we are praying to Our Father Glory to God Almighty

    Reply
  20. Andrea
    June 11, 2012

    Wow! Thank you so much for sharing this wisdom, Alyssa! My fiancé is just graduated from boot camp and is a Unitex States Marine. Going into this relationship I knew he would be going into multiple battles and fighting fights so we never have to here in the U.S.

    I never really thought about your perspective though. Ephesians 6:12 came to mind as I was reading this and gave me a “duh!” moment lol. I’m truly encouraged by this post and am choosing to commit myself to pray for my future husband, brothers, father, and pastor. Thank you do much for sharing!! And prayers to you and your future hubby :)

    Reply
    • jeffbethke
      June 11, 2012

      andrea thats awesome! tell your fiancé hello for me. ps shoot alyssa a message on twitter if you’d like, i know it’d greatly encourage her!

      Reply
  21. Theresa
    June 11, 2012

    Wow, this is so amazing. As a woman whos been in church for a while, I see the exact same thing, and had honestly lost hope, blamed the men themselves, and looked down on them. I never realized I could take it into my own hands. I will definitely join in the battle for our men!!

    Reply
  22. Kristine Soto
    June 11, 2012

    YES. Everyday I have 4 men in my life 3 son’s & an amazing husband. Fight is right.we have been tring to teach them there is a battle against there purpose in this world. We also teach them to learn to fight for themselves (our sons) We’re Trying to teach our daughters that they need to grow up & do the same. This is not easy. We are also Instiilling in them to never give up that fight. We are determined parents & We are a determined family.

    Reply
    • jeffbethke
      June 11, 2012

      kristine that is awesome! thank you for your example!

      Reply
  23. Stephanie
    June 11, 2012

    …this is EXACTLY what I needed to read. I’ve been praying for the men around me from family to friends to my boyfriend for God to touch them. This generation is a tough one, and we do have to pray and fight this battle that we do not see.
    This was great and very motivating!
    Thank you very much and may God continue to bless you :)

    Reply
  24. Leah
    June 11, 2012

    I love this!! I will pray for my Husband more.

    Reply
  25. Caitlin
    June 11, 2012

    Thanks for the exhortation Alyssa! This is awesome!

    Reply
  26. Sabrina
    June 11, 2012

    This was so inspirational … I pray for my son to love and be a gentleman. I pray that he lives for God and learns his way. Ever since me and my fiancé have been going to church together lately we both feel this bond… A higher love in our relationship.. This blog was awesome.

    Reply
  27. maigen
    June 11, 2012

    Thanks for the reminder

    Reply
  28. Heather
    June 11, 2012

    Amazing!

    Reply
  29. Anna
    June 11, 2012

    That was really encouraging. Thanks for the wisdom and knowledge. I’m a young college girl just learning about life and how God is going to move in me. So this article was very uplifting and very helpful in how I can help our men and the leaders of this nation, and how I can change lives behind the scenes. So once again thanks!! :)
    - Anna Nash

    Reply
  30. Rebecca
    June 11, 2012

    I think one of the best pieces of advice I have ever been given was to pray for my future husband. I seek and fervently pray for a man that will be like my dad and lead our house in God’s truth. Although, I may never receive my wish of marrying I think it is also important to pray with friends for their future spouses and for parents to start young with their children and pray with them as they grow. (Prov 22:6)

    Reply
  31. Eluned Mitchell
    June 11, 2012

    I love this. Thanks so much for posting it. I have a lot of guy friends who I never thought about praying for. but this is such an encouragement! Thank you and God bless

    x

    Reply
  32. Sarah
    June 11, 2012

    Great article! Glad to see what I’ve done makes sense. My parents taught me when I was little that I should pray for my future husband and children. I definitely don’t do it as often as I know I should. Prayer is powerful and can definitely move mountains…even future mountains. It’s time I step it up! Satan tries to get our men (and children) trapped as young as he can and keep them under bondage so they can’t reach their full potential. Prayer is the answer! We need a prayer revolution in America!

    Reply
  33. Joy
    June 11, 2012

    Alyssa!
    What a wonderful post!
    I’m so glad you wrote about this with such a sincere heart.
    The best advice I have ever received from a friend when going through a tough time with the hubs was, “PRAY FOR HIM.” She encouraged me to go pick a copy of “The Power of a Praying Wife.”
    It was so helpful. She could have listened to my ranting and joined in about how right I was, but truth be told, I wasn’t right. And after sorting through it all I could see my part in it.
    Prayer works. I prayed for 2 years specifically that God would soften my mans heart and he did. It’s a very cool story that I will not give all of the details to, but God showed up in a real and tangible way.
    I am now raising 2 boys (and 1 girl) and I have to constantly keep in mind the things that they will be faced with.
    I pray over and with them. I pray for my man as well. We cannot pray enough for our men.
    Plus, I love the mental image of the warrior. We need to be fierce at times and know that it’s okay when we are fighting for something as important as this.
    Thanks!

    Reply
  34. Sara Rosenberger
    June 11, 2012

    This really spoke to me. I’ve never been in a relationship because I don’t want to end up in a relationship where God isn’t present. Where I went to school, where I work, and who I hang out with are guys who are as described as above. I just sit watch and wait. I need to Do Battle and pray for all of the men in my life and watch God’s grace unfold. I know that my future husband is out there I just need to keep praying. Thank you Alyssa and Jeff :)

    Reply
  35. Charity
    June 11, 2012

    I love this. I pray for my daughters future husbands, they are 8 & 15…& ive been doing this awhile. However, i need to remember to do the same for the men in my life.

    I would looooove some kind of blog, daily message, ect for my teenage daughter…they face so much and could really benifit from something like that

    Reply
    • jeffbethke
      June 11, 2012

      thanks for the comment charity! also thank you for being a prayer warrior! have you checked out wonderfullymadeblog.org? great site!

      Reply
      • Charity
        June 11, 2012

        I will def check it out, thank you!

        Reply
  36. Maggie
    June 11, 2012

    I found this very interesting and feel like important points were brought up. The part about pornography and violent video games is definitely right on – I see some of the effects of these things everyday in my job as a residential counselor with 12-17 yr old boys who have been adjudicated. Another HUGE thing that has been hurting our men and boys is strict gender roles and hyper-masculine expectations. I see it all the time with my boys – they have not been able to develop fully into whole people because all that is communicated to them is that they should be unemotional (unless it’s anger), should never express emotion (unless it’s anger through aggression and/or violence), should realize that they are different from women and have more sexual needs/thoughts/desires (this also allows the perpetuation of boys and men growing up believing sexuality is just about physical satisfaction for males and that females are just too emotional about the whole thing, etc.) and should understand that they must look and act like one kind of person and be above women in the household, workplace, and society in general (this breeds many
    many issues including boys and mens dominating behavior over women sexually, emotionally, etc. As well as cuts boys off from many Different options that they may genuinely be called to by God – like being a stay at home dad). Overall, there are many complex reasons behind the kind of destructive and hurtful behaviors that I see in the boys I work with. I think encouraging strength in our boys is wonderful (and so is praying for that in our women) but also praying for things like healing, kindness, empathy – those things will help change the status quo of horrifying numbers of physical and sexual assault of women by men in today’s world. If we encourage an pray for our men and boys to be able to grow in to whole, loving, good people, there is hope.

    Reply
  37. Amanda
    June 11, 2012

    My husband has expressed an interest in beginning to attend church but has yet to “make the leap”. I wanted so badly for him to do so but didn’t want to force it on him. As someone who was raised with a spiritual belief, I can’t believe I didn’t think to pray for him. Not only for him and our future family and all that he is and has yet to become but for him to find whatever it is inside of him that will want him to go to Church.

    Thanks for the post, Alyssa. I hope you are enjoying the wedding planning process! We are still in the newlywed phase and its just as fun :)

    Reply
  38. Anonymous
    June 11, 2012

    Thank you for sharing this…. I’m not married nor do I have a bf but there is a guy in my life that I have been talking to and praying about. He seems like such a Godly man, he’s fallen into sin in the past but has got himself back up again and asked God for forgiveness. Last month, a friend told me some news about him that I completely didn’t expect. It broke my heart because it has something to do with pornography. I never would have thought he of all people could fall into something like that. It made me sick. But I know the power of the Holy Spirit it more powerful than any addiction and this blog just spoke to me and reminded me to continue praying for him. I can’t change him, only God can!

    Reply
  39. Racquel
    June 11, 2012

    Very encouraging! I’ve been praying for my future husband, dad, and bro. At times It can feel very hopeless but thanks for the reminder that’s it’s a fight and we must not give up! I had my daughter when I was 16 and I’m happy to say I found God when I turned 19 now I’m a 20yr old single mom and very thankful I found Him… to share with my daughter! Next you should do “How to pray for your kids”

    Reply
    • Lyss
      June 11, 2012

      That’s awesome Racquel!! You should read “How to Pray for Your Future Husband” by Robin Jones Gunn. One of the authors has a similar testimony to yours. I hope you’re encouraged by it :)

      Reply
      • Racquel
        June 12, 2012

        Nice! where can I get the book?

        Reply
  40. Christen
    June 11, 2012

    Thank you for posting this! My husband has been really discouraged lately and I have been too. This is just what I needed to remind me that God is faithful and if I stay faithful and faithfully pray HE will come through for me. I want my two sons to be a part of a new breed of men who are holy, pure and mighty men and priests of God and who faithfully serve Jesus their whole lives. I and my husband must be their examples. Thank you!

    Reply
  41. Huong
    June 11, 2012

    Wow. Thank you so much for this, Alyssa. I can’t tell you how perfect timing it is for my life at the moment. This post is an honest-to-goodness truth from God. Prayer is what He wants from us. My pastor always talks about how behind every man of God is a woman of God supporting them and without her, they aren’t half the person they are. Thank you so much! Please tell me you have your own blog!

    Reply
  42. LO
    June 11, 2012

    Thank you for the encouraging words.

    Reply
  43. Hillary
    June 11, 2012

    This brought me to tears, it amazes me how God works in certain ways to let you hear what you need too. Sometimes I get lonely, and I see all these couples and it just reminds me that I need to pray for my husband. That even though we’re not together now, God has an awesome man headed my way. Thanks for the encouragement. God bless you.

    Reply
  44. Mallory
    June 11, 2012

    Thank you for this word. I started writing letters to my future husband.. and praying for him. Not only am I praying for him. I pray for the men in my church.. calling fourth leaders. Even the children.. God has really put my heart on the children. and i feel everyday I impart in them even just being at work. i pray for these young boys… as well… our generation of the youth. I pray that they will be leaders. Thank you for sharing. It truly blessed me to keep on praying and standing in alignment for the Men. Blessings to you:)

    Reply
  45. Madison
    June 11, 2012

    Thanks so much for writing this article. Even though I go to a christian school it is rarely that I hear advice from such a woman of God. I’ve been trying to get into the habit of praying for the men in my life, especially my boyfriend John, and this was just the encouragement I needed.

    Reply
  46. Stacey Arrington
    June 11, 2012

    I completely agree with this statement. I am 27 years old and single. Every guy I meet has no idea how to treat a woman nor even be a real man for himself. Thank you for this today, I will be in prayer about this issue instead of just wondering why.
    Stacey

    Reply
  47. Cherokee Taylor
    June 11, 2012

    Wow! This is SO awesome. I’m 25 years old, and I follow you, and your fiancé . You guys are anointed ! This is very true what she wrote, all followers of Christ that are women ( men too) should be doing this ! Prayer works! This was a light bulp for me. God has blessed you at a young age with an amazing woman of God. Thank you for sharing with us. This is awesome

    Reply
  48. Adriann
    June 11, 2012

    This really touched home for me. No, I’m not married nor do I have an earthly father and neither am I dating anyone. I have 3 boys ages 7, 3, and 5 months old. I am a 26 year old single mother in whom the father of my children are absent completely now. Sometimes fear comes upon me and I ask the Lord to just take my boys home now. Yes it would be so extremely heart breaking to me if I ever lost my boys, but if the Lord chose to take them home early I know where they would be. I know my lot in life is to be the godly woman and mother that my 3 little men need. God has borrowed me these children to raise them to be men of God with integrity of heart who pray fervently and know that God is Lord. My seven year old has already made it known that he wants to be a pastor and shall the Lord tarry I know Satan is going to try that much harder to tear him down and try to rip us up as a family. I believe in my heart only God can give a human the yearning to be a pastor or leader in ministry and so I would ask that anyone who reads this post to please pray and keep praying for my son Zander especially, but also us as a family. God bless each and every one of you. In Jesus name.

    Reply
  49. The Greatest Thing a Woman Can Do for a Man « Wakey Wakey, Sunshine
    June 11, 2012

    [...] The Greatest Thing a Woman Can Do for a Man [...]

    Reply
  50. Jacob
    June 11, 2012

    Wow. I know this was written for women, but it is so encouraging to read and know that there are women taking a stand to pray for us guys. It means more than you could ever know. We really need it. I can’t thank you enough.

    Reply
  51. Crystal
    June 11, 2012

    I pray for my husband constantly as well as our children who have not been born or adopted yet. A beautiful post and great reminder that it starts with prayer. Satan not only attacks our men with these issues, it attacks us too. Coming from a background of sexual abuse, pornography ran ramp it in my own life. Satan will use all means necessary to destroy us. Video games still pose a problem for me to escape reality and the memories. Both my husband and I have not been believers for very long, so the leading is hard for the both of us. I like to control and he likes to let me lol! But our Father, our Savior, He is Sovereign. He is Good, and we will be sanctified by Him not for our own glory but for His. Prayer is where the war is fought! I only am thankful to have a Jesus who advocates on our behalf that I may repent, and plead for my husband. He is the gift God has given to me to bring me to my knees many times on days I wouldn’t have prayed at all… Fantastic article!!! Thankful for your wise words this morning!

    Reply
    • Shari
      June 12, 2012

      I am soooo sorry to hear that you come from a background of sexual abuse. I can only imagine what it must take to overcome that. I just HAD to comment on something you said here. First off, I feel like I need to make a disclaimer: I’m NOT Christian. I’m actually Jewish, so that may change how you choose to take my advice. But you mentioned how you and your husband are struggling with “leading,” because you like to control, and he likes to let you. :-) I competely understand! If you’ve ever met a Jewish mother, you know what I’m saying. Anyway, in the Jewish faith, the woman is charged with leading the home’s religion. She’s charged with teaching the children about the culture and faith. The man leads as a provider. So, in that way, BOTH the woman and man lead. I have a hard time with the “men are the leaders” mentality, because I’ve known some very inspiring women who are 10 times the leader of other men I’ve met. My fiance grew up with a single mother, and she’s a very strong leader who taught him to be the incredible man he is today. But I digress. I’d suggest maybe going with what feels natural to you and your husband in the home. If you naturally tend to lead, and he tends to follow, I don’t think you’re being “lesser” Christians for going that route! :-)

      Reply
    • Shari
      June 12, 2012

      Crystal,

      So, so sorry. I meant this reply for someone else, but my browser screwed up while I was trying to post, and now I cannot find her comment! Well, anyway, sorry if this seemed confusing. :-/

      Reply
      • Shari
        June 12, 2012

        Gosh, I wish there was a way to delete posts. I sound like such a fool. I DID mean this for you. I had the crazy “compatibility view” issue with my browser. Just ignore everything I said, except for my original comment. LOL!

        Reply
  52. Yolanda
    June 11, 2012

    I grew up in a christian home with christian values my whole life. However I have been dating someone for almost four years who wasn’t raised the way I was and it’s been very difficult. I pray for him everyday because I do want him to be my husband one day, I’m just not sure if that is the wrong thing to pray for.

    Reply
    • Learnin2BE
      June 11, 2012

      You don’t pray for him to be your husband. Ask God to change his heart and renew in him a right spirit. Pray for his protection, his salvation, that God continue to pour out Grace and mercy over him. Pray that your relationship with God draws him closer to Him because of the wonderful example of who and what God its in your life. Know that when praying you must be specific. If you have said to God,”lord I want my husband to have You’re heart, to know You for himself. Lord I want my husband to be able to lead me and push me closer to You and I want who You have for me.” That is a specific prayer, but if you jus pray that he is your husband, he won’t be saved and that will be an unnecessary struggle. Love him how God loves us.

      Reply
    • Shari
      June 12, 2012

      Yolanda,

      I’ve been in your exact shoes, except I was the “other person” who wasn’t raised Christian. My ex was the Christian. We were together for more than 5 years, and he was my first boyfriend. I’m going to give you some advice right now that will be hard to hear, but it’s coming from someone who lived through complete heartbreak. Break up with your boyfriend if you cannot accept him and marry him the way he is RIGHT NOW.

      I’m Jewish and my ex tried to change me for 5 years. I left that relationship confused, emotionally abused, and hating who I was. Hating my family routes. It took years and a trip to Jerusalem to eventually recover completely. What he did was wrong. If we would have broken up only a year into the relationship, I would have avoided all that.

      You’re doing yourself and your boyfriend a huge disservice: You’re giving him false hope that he’ll feel accepted for who he is, and you’re giving yourself false hope that he’ll change. If he ever does begin to change, it may be a lie, because he’ll be doing it to try and keep you (I once tried that route, and it tore me apart even more). And if he doesn’t change, you’ll grow to resent him. My ex hated me by the end because “I chose my family and Jewish faith over him.”

      I’m so sorry to break this to you, but I’m 30 years old now, and speaking from experience. Today, I’m MUCH happier with a great man who accepts me for me. And my ex married a Christian woman who will attend church with him. I don’t talk to him, but I’m sure he’s much happier, too.

      Best of luck to you.

      Reply
  53. Olive
    June 11, 2012

    It grieves me everyday when I see young men heading in the wrong path. I spent the weekend with my 15 y.o cousin and was shocked to find out how much he knew about the wrong things. I will continuously lift him up in prayers because it hurts to see a young man ruin himself. The prayers of the righteous availeth much.

    Reply
  54. Megan
    June 11, 2012

    I think this is so great. It is so important to pray for the men in our lives. I am already married (to an amazing man of God) but I am a new mom to one son and a second son coming later this year. I try to pray everyday for my son(s) to grow up to be men that love God and I also pray for their future spouses. It terrifies me to just focus on the things that will tempt them as they get older, but I know praying for protection and salvation of their future wives is not only vital but something that brings me peace.

    Reply
  55. Brittney
    June 11, 2012

    This is so, so great! I was just discussing with my family that I’d like to start praying more specifically for them, and now especially for my dad! Also, it has been on my heart to be praying for my future husband. Many of my friends are getting married now, which has made me feel a little “left out” I guess, so I figured the best thing I could do would be to lift him up in prayer! And, this may be a little random but, I have been praying for the christian men in our country who are in the public eye. Specifically athletes who have a platform and who children look up to. They can have an impact on a large scale, and can use our prayer! Thanks for this, Alyssa!

    Reply
  56. Teresa
    June 11, 2012

    I just want to thank you for such a wonderful, motivating and inspirational illustration of what a biblical woman should be. I have struggle with my singleness but not only this finding the heart to pray for the men in my family. I know that Satan is alive and at war with us, but I have failed to see what he has been doing the these men in my life. I will continue to be that spiritual warrior. I will stand up for our men!! Thank you and I will pray for my future hubby!! God bless and please keep doing what you do!!

    Reply
  57. Sophie
    June 11, 2012

    This is really great insight, it was awesome to read and see your personal touches in there. I think also, when thinking about going into battle ladies, we also need to remember that God HAS provided us with armor!!!!! Sitting right there in the Bible telling us about our sword, our shield, our breastplate, and everything else we need to survive in a battle. Coming from the very competitive/combative world of sports, any athlete knows the winner is always the one most prepared for the fight!!!!! So let’s be prepared at ALL TIMES!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  58. Jessica
    June 11, 2012

    I pray every day my husband would be the man God wants him to be.. Our marriage has been on a rocky road for a few years… I havnt gave up and we have been blessed with a 1 year old son! My husband has gone to strip clubs behind my back watched porn behind my back and texted another woman! I pray every day for God to work on him and our marriage!! I have came from a broken family an it’s not fun having separated parents and I don’t want that for my son! I ask God to give me strength and I know he has helped so much… But my husband needs prayers y’all it would be so appreciated if you could maybe add him in yalls! I pray daily and im so glad I came across this post!!thank you so much

    Reply
  59. Gabriela Quiroz
    June 11, 2012

    Dear Alyssa,

    Thank you so much for sharing this post. I really needed a reminder today on what I was supposed to do as a woman for the men in my life. Sometimes we get so caught up in our daily routines that we dont hold on to the truth and start believing the lies! This life of mine has been crazy in the last year. I lost my father, had my heart broken 3 times by the same guy, lost finances, got radically saved, moved country, graduated highschool, joined a Christian ministry lol and so on. Hahaha LONG STORY! But I just wanted to agree with you. If one thing I’ve learned is who my father is and what he is capable of doing. He listens to His daughters! He is the King of Glory the most high God! The power in prayer is amazing and especially for the men in our life, men to come or men in general! Through the pain and tears I found myself on my knees praying for the hearts of the men who hurt me or maybe those good men who never did. I prayed for the Father to turn their hearts of stone into a heart of flesh. Just pray! PRAY AND PRAY more without ceasing. WE are heard and heard by the King of Kings!
    I found this on pinterest and its called how to pray for your husband but I believe its a good guideline for all men:

    -For his relationship with God
    -That God will bless him
    -For him to be a spiritual leader for his family
    -For him to love women in his life deeply
    -For him to have a heart for his children
    -For him to make wise choices
    -For his emotional, mental and physical health
    -For his work to prosper
    - Power for him to resist temptation
    - For us to show them grace, respect and kindness

    Blessings
    Gabriela

    Reply
  60. Gina
    June 11, 2012

    Wow….I am truly speechless…..I’m a single mother of 2 boys my oldest just turned 18 and graduated high school…..Truly a miracle in itself…Thank You God……my youngest is 10 and I prayer extra hard for him daily as he has seen things from his older brother and father that is out of my control…I have such amazing hopes and aspirations for him to become anything he desires and encourage him in everything he is interested in….I pray for him constantly.. that he will be the husband of a girls dreams someday….and not follow in the footsteps of his Dad ….but in the footsteps of Christ instead…..I have prayed for over two years now that God would put the man he has for me in my life……and a few months ago he did just that….God put a man in my life that’s what I always prayed for…he is an amazing example of a respectful Godly man that I’m blessed and happy my son is influenced by…..I will continue to pray even harder now….for my future husband…my boys and even my boys’ father…as hard as that is …I ask God to remove the pain from my heart and to touch my ex….so that he will be the father God intended for him to be…not the bad influence he is currently… Thanks for the encouraging words…Please keep me and the men in my life in your prayers (even my lil man) LOL….I’m looking for a home church again….but live in a small town…with racial judgement (my son is bi-racial)….it is hard to find a home church that will not make my son feel like he is different than other boys…..
    God’s Richest Blessings to you both…
    Gina

    Reply
  61. Julie
    June 11, 2012

    This is great, and so true! A group of my friends have the Praying Wives Club. Every morning, we pray for our husbands and men in our life at 8:50 a.m., as well as when we think of them during the day. We’ve seen positive changes since starting it two years ago!

    I’d also like to encourage parents to pray for their kids’ future spouse. My parents and their friends did this, and I do believe it impacted who we picked to marry.

    Life is hard, marriage is hard, but God is so great to equip us to lean on Him and overcome any challenge!

    Reply
  62. Emma
    June 11, 2012

    This is so great to read! I’ll admit it, for the past 2 years I’ve been praying selfishly, just praying for things to better me in life. My parents recently divorced and my relationships have been effected by this so much! I never thought about specifically just prayed for the men in my life , and I know I need to start. I always wonder why I just pray and focus on things that will be me for time being. It was always about me, me, me. I don’t know if this makes sense, but reading this really does help me. The men in my life are so important to me. Thanks so much for this! I really needed it. God Bless.
    -Emma McWilliams

    Reply
  63. Preeti Anushila Nag
    June 11, 2012

    Thanks for sharing these inspiring truths…surely our generation is becoming a mess..but with fervent and sincere prayers, there is hope for saving n protecting mankind from continuous attacks from satan..But there is something else also that needs prayer…the women race, that is behind building a family and keeping it together, are also in need of sincere prayers, so that they remain strong and able to support their husbands and family..it must be a mutual habit of praying for each other and oneself in a relationship..so that the bond is maintained and the couple is able to serve God better..Not only them but also the women who are on the path of destruction, should be prayed for…after all it was Eve whom the Serpent chose to tempt into sin..

    Reply
  64. Alexey Dolotov
    June 11, 2012

    Being convicted of this one time a year back or so, I wrote a song…

    I don’t remember the last time I felt so encouraged
    Just from a text conversation that got me worried
    about myself ’cause I realized I’m so malnourished
    spiritually laid-back, weak inside, looking sorry.
    When I am called to being strong and live to flourish,
    I share my longing here telling a story
    about the man to be someday that I only wish
    to change into someday, and to do so I mush hurry.
    It’s not through powers of my will that I can do it,
    ’cause every moment to perfection I have blew it,
    falling then getting back up I gotta move it
    not loose my sight of Christ, each time going through it.
    So I extract the memory as I renew it,
    the last time I was inspired to pursue it;
    the gospel truth and who influenced me back to it,
    her name was A.K.a the one who’s well respected

    So back to what I read in this conversation this time
    the chat line that motivated me to write this rhyme,
    a call to attention about a problem at its prime
    the fact that it was spoken to me guess must be a sign.
    To which at the current time shamefully agree that I
    don’t always keep my fire lit up for Adonai
    standing with many wimps in a spiritual state of mind
    Where are the men of God!? Listening to women cry.
    I really hate seeing that picture in matter of fact
    more than ever before it’s time for me to react.
    I’m sure what’s in store for me on the track
    will be hard but may God give me the strength to counter attack.
    With the years slacked off I don’t desire to go back
    but strive forward with boldness to make an impact.
    First off it’s God then her is who I wanna attract,
    her name was “O”hh “G”ee, her chat room is disconnected :(

    Blessings to you! Thanks for the post…
    - D

    Reply
  65. Zena
    June 11, 2012

    These words are so true and what a blessing to hear and understand this at your age. I didnt fully comprehend the intensity of the spiritual battle until my now 15 year old went through a spiritual warfare that Ive never known anyone to experience. At age 11, he was in such a spiritual battle and my best tool was prayer. As I humbly prayed for my son, I saw things change right before my eyes! Now daily I pray for my husband and sons….I wish I would have known this 15 years ago. These words are so true and what a blessing to hear and understand this at your age. I didnt fully comprehend the intensity of the spiritual battle until my now 15 year old went through a spiritual warfare that Ive never known anyone to experience. At age 11, he was in such a spiritual battle and my best tool was prayer. As I humbly prayed for my son, I saw things change right before my eyes! Daily I pray for my husband and sons and use the authority given to me by God as a mother and wife. Something I wish I learned 15 years ago….

    Reply
  66. Jessica
    June 11, 2012

    a couple years ago, I wasn’t going anywhere with the men in my life. I have 2 children from a previous marriage, and my husband didn’t believe in monogamy, apparently. I guess he didn’t agree with marriage being sacred. after our divorce I wrote a list, consisting of each quality that I sought in a man. as silly as it may sound I even had his physical appearance down, such as big strong hands. that letter/list was not intended for my future husband. it was intended for God to lead me to him.

    sure enough it happened, when I least expected it to. I’ve been in a relationship now since February 19th,2010, and we will be celebrating our first wedding anniversary, Sep 25, 2012. God did not leave anything out that was on that list. my advice would be not to adjust your standards according to the man, but seek a man who meets your standards

    Reply
  67. janessa
    June 11, 2012

    This is so good! Such great encouragement and reminder. A friend and I are actually going to start a prayer group prayong over not just our future hubbies or the men in our lives but over all men. Such an honor to pray on ther behalf. Thanks for the post!(:

    Reply
  68. Lauren
    June 11, 2012

    Thank you for posting this. I am only 18 years old but I have grown up in the church. I have had 2 boyfriends. Both guys grew up in the church as well, and sadly both have confided in me that they have had issues with pornography. It has hurt my heart immensely to hear this. It hurts to know that even our Christian men are struggling. I am glad to read this and I plan to pray for my boyfriend now as well as all other men who are born to be strong leaders in our communities as well as our families.

    Reply
  69. Karine
    June 11, 2012

    Your article is really amazing Alyssa and I’m so glad God’s work in your life has been that great! I also believe we should pray for the men in our lives constantly. I do it for the men in my family and for my pastor, but…I have to be honest…I don’t do it for my future husband. (I don’t even have a boyfriend). I think that our Enemy really wants us to think that we have so many other things that are more important, so many things we should pray for..In our minds we imagine: “You don’t have time to pray for a man!”; “Why are you praying to get a husband anyway? You should be praying for a job, for finantial independence, for your family’s salvation, for your grandma’s healing…Don’t be selfish, don’t waste your time with such a thing!”. Well, your post just confirmed something the Holy Spirit has been continuously bringing to my heart:” Pray for him, pray for the one that is gonna be side by side with you, gloryfing my Name. I’m always faithful, but you have to believe.” Girls, BELIEVE HIM! OUR LORD! HE’S THE ONE! HE KNOWS US BETTER THAN ANYONE! Let’s trust our lives – including our relationships – entirely to Him.

    God Bless
    Hugs from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

    Reply
    • Brittney
      June 11, 2012

      Agreed! I think the enemy wants to do everything he can to destroy people’s marriages, and the things we do (or don’t do) NOW, have an impact on our future marriage. Praying and growing in Christ is one of the best ways to strengthen and prepare for our marriage, even before we’re married!

      Reply
  70. Heather
    June 11, 2012

    A few years back I was prophesied over and told that I would be one to pray for our leaders… Your blog just opened my eyes to the meaning and gave clarification to exactly who I need to be praying for! Thank you and may God continue to use you for his glory!! Many Blessings upon you :)

    Reply
  71. Janae
    June 11, 2012

    This was such a nice and insightful reminder to pray for the boys and men in today’s harsh and pressuring society. My younger brother is 19 and I constantly think about and pray for him to gain strength and outlook through God to help him maintain himself as a strong and positive young individual in the college setting he lives in. Praying for them is just as important as them praying for us women. We’re all brothers and sisters of the Lord and we need to be looking out compassionately for each other. What better way than through prayer!?

    Reply
  72. Stefan Hinkley
    June 11, 2012

    Thank you for posting this, it is a great encouragement to know that we as men are getting prayer and support in our continual fight and struggle to not of this world. And I think as you pray for us we should pray for each other because I think it is important to realize that we all struggle with sins in this world that enable us from being the man or woman that God has called us to be. When we cry out to God, He will hear our cries and answer.

    Reply
  73. Kisha
    June 11, 2012

    Thanks for this encouraging message. I have two sons I worry about on a daily basis. As a single mother, I want my kids to know God and become productive and caring men and women within these society. It is a shame that the kids I see around my neighborhood are so disrespectful…..Your message gives me a glimpse of hope that may be our future generation wont be so lost. Thanks again!!!!

    Kisha

    Reply
  74. Desiree
    June 11, 2012

    Thanks for the encouragement! :)

    Reply
  75. Anna
    June 11, 2012

    I am a 15 year old girl and as one all we hear is “You need a boyfriend” Lately I have been thinking wow God can you go ahead and send my prince charming? I’ve been praying saying can you at least give me some peace about being single or what I should do for the future? This post was the exact encouragement I needed! Thank you so much!

    Reply
  76. Apryl
    June 11, 2012

    Words cannot describe how much I appreciate your encouragement. I have always believed that God has the perfect man for me. At times, I find myself becoming discouraged because the only men who ever come around are those of the devil, himself. It it such a shame to see such fine young men fall into these demonic traps. This world has become so cliche and materialistic. They are taking “God” out of schools and off of the court steps. What is this world coming to? The devil inside man has drawn countries to this. It is important to lift our men up! As you say, “DO BATTLE!” Truly fight for out men and their faith in God. We, as women should lift them up! I have a one year old son who has never missed a Sunday Service! I refuse to allow him to be raised in such a harsh society. I pray that he grows to know, understand, love, and follow God. I am his only parent, due to the Devil taking over his father, and I can only pray that my son never becomes what is now the “typical man.” Thank you again for your encouragement. It merely reminds me of exactly why I do what I do! (:

    Reply
  77. Ebony Mirabal
    June 11, 2012

    This is such a great and encouraging post!

    When i read the title i didn’t expect it to say what i just read. I believe that some people underestimate the power of prayer and the importance of it. It is one of the most powerful weapons for spiritual battle, which we are al called to as Christians. But most importantly we must know that God needs the church (and of course us women) to pray in order to deliver his salvation. And to be set free from pornography and a number of other addictions IS part of Hi’s complete Salvation for us. I appreciate this post and it has really triggered new prayers for the men that surround me. Do post again, Alyssa! Blessings.

    Reply
  78. Jess
    June 11, 2012

    WOW! what an inspiration this was to read! its so true we are blinded by the battle that goes on with our men in this world. reading this has really touched me and encouraged me to start praying a lot more for the men in my life! as a single woman i pray here and there for my future husband however i never really thought to actually pray for the other men i already have in my life like my brothers, my father and friends, and although i may not see a physical battle there is so much the world tempts us with. Woman tend to underestimate the power of influence we can have in peoples lifes (especially men) it is time for us to step up and take a stand for our men! i will definately be praying A LOT more for the men in my life and those to come into it!!

    thank you so much for sharing :)

    Reply
  79. Rosa Cruz
    June 11, 2012

    May God continue to bless you.. Thank you soo much for this letter, I have five sons I continuously pray. I never thought about praying for my (future) husband.. Again, thank you..

    Reply
  80. rachel
    June 11, 2012

    Thank you. For one excuse or another I stopped praying for my future husband, but this has helped. I will continue in battle, doing my part, supporting our leaders by praying for the men. My men, our men. Your words moved me to tears and then I read the last verse and nearly started bawling. We need men who reflect Jesus, to rise up and take care to lead the way. And where would guys be without us girls? :) thank you again for taking the time to put these words out there. I encourage you to keep with it, you’ve got a gift.

    Reply
  81. Bruce McLean
    June 11, 2012

    Thank you, as a dad of two teenage boys it is encouraging for my wife and I to read this and know people are praying. I pray that Jeff and Alyssa are richly blessed in their marriage

    Reply
  82. Brianna
    June 11, 2012

    Amen!

    Reply
  83. Trudy
    June 11, 2012

    Wow this is truly amazing and has opened my mind so something so real. Have recently started to get closer to GOD cos I figured to find the perfect GODLY guy I would have to be the perfect GODLY lady. God has drawn me so much closer to him and I find myself hungry for his word and spend time crying to him. Alyssa you are an amazing Woman of GOD and may GOD continue to Bless you. Jefferson has truly been Blessed with a wonderful woman like you. You were made to stand out!

    Reply
  84. Francine
    June 11, 2012

    I love this article… this generation of males and females need as much prayer as they can get!! When I read this I said a quick prayer and thank God for another day and to bless my boyfriend and help him make the right decisions and guide him in life. Thank You!

    Reply
  85. Cale Johnson
    June 11, 2012

    As a guy, I also appreciate this post. However, I would like to know how to return the favor. How can we pray for you, ladies? Also, how do we pray for our future wives?

    Reply
    • Lyss
      June 12, 2012

      I love your heart Cale! I’ll talk to Jeff about that and hopefully we can get some blogs out about specific ways to pray.

      Reply
  86. Antoinette
    June 11, 2012

    WOW! That grabbed my heart – a friend and i were talking the other day how we want a husband that would share the joy and amazement of our Wonderful amazing God. and its so true young men everywhere are turning away from God leaving marriages, abusing spouses, etc. It breaks my heart to see men of God fall into Satans trap.

    Women of God lets stand together in this ‘war’ and pray pray pray continually for the men in our lives…

    Thank you for sharing this with us – friends and i are so reading this book.
    God Bless

    Reply
  87. Rose
    June 12, 2012

    Thank you so much for taking your time out and writing to inspire and encourage christian girls around the world today. I am a 25 young lady from Australia, 8 years being a christian and have never been in a relationship. I pray for that day when i meet “him” and i know that when he comes it is because of trusting in God in delievering the right man ( after God’s own heart) into my life. I want to accept this challenge, you have inspired me to do this with my friend for 30 days ( read the book and pray as well) . I will let you know the update of how it all goes. But you have really inspired me to do this, funnily enough, the night before i was thinking and praying for a christian guy, which i havent done in a long time..and to wake up to Jeff’s post on your blog…NOT Only we should wait around as Women of Christ but to also STAND UP and RISE and be prepared spiritually and mentally for the battle that is before us. Uplift the future partner in Prayer.

    Thank you again. I am not wanting to settle for second best, but to have a powerhouse of a relationship with a man who is after God’s own heart and who is willing to sacrifice his own life for the lOVE OF God and his word.
    Rose

    Reply
  88. Kendra@ A Proverbs 31 Wife
    June 12, 2012

    When I read the comment where you were wondering what’s going to happen when you have kids… I started crying. That’s something I think about a lot. And silly or not, I pray for hubby and I ‘s kids, believing that someday we really will have them.
    Long before I met Jason I prayed for him. I wrote him letters, I really just kept a journal for him. Coming from a family where porn had pretty much taken hold, it was very important to me that my husband would be pure. Praise the Lord he is.
    I haven’t been here before but I will be coming back!

    Reply
  89. Anna
    June 12, 2012

    Thanks so much for this Alyssa – such a beautiful idea of how we can bless others!

    Peace and love from across the water :)

    Reply
  90. riTa
    June 12, 2012

    Great challenge! Thank you!

    Reply
  91. Beth
    June 12, 2012

    Girls and young ladies,
    This may sound like a cheesy idea to you, but let me tell you my story, and maybe you will change your mind. As I read this blog, I thought of my deceased grandpa and what a Godly and faithful man he was, and how much I loved him; I thought of my dad, who not always was, but is now a pastor who struggles daily to feed his congregation. I thought of my brothers, my brothers in law, my son and grandson, my nephews….what a powerful opportunity to provide them with God’s strength, wisdom and comfort. I am 43 years old; I attended church faithfully every service throughout my life, attended Christian school and college…and never learned the true meaning of Christianity. I lost my faith in my late teens, did things throughout my life that I knew were wrong, including drinking, smoking, having sexual relationships…I have 2 children and have never been married….things that when I was 16 I never would have dreamed I would do. I even remember being 16, hearing stories like mine, and saying to myself “I would never do things like that.” Satan is a mighty and powerful enemy whose main goal is to destroy as many lives as he can, and Christians in general have become complacent, so he is succeeding. Listen to me with your hearts, and learn from my life….stay as close to God as you can, pray for a Godly husband that you don’t have, because Satan will send you plenty to distract you from that…and it will destroy you from the inside out. Fortunately, we do serve a loving, gracious and merciful God, who forgives the repentant, and will repair your life; He is more mighty and powerful than Satan can ever dream of being. I still do not have that Godly husband that I desperately would love to have…and I may not ever. But, I will make a resolve to pray without ceasing for the boys and men in my life, that they will be open to God’s love, direction and will. I also will continue to pray that I will be a help to them, not a hindrance, and that I can stand, shield of prayer raised, between them and Satan. Think of the powerful generation of men that will be if every woman of God would do the same!!

    Reply
  92. Anna
    June 12, 2012

    Thank you for posting this. I am 27 years old and have never been in a relationship. I want to wait for God’s best. I have been writing in a journal to my future husband for a few years. Not every day but it has been a good thing to do. Someday I will give him those journals with a glad heart. Thank you for the rebuke too. I have not been praying for him. I know that God has written a beautiful story for my life. I want his story to happen!

    Reply
  93. Shari
    June 12, 2012

    Alyssa,

    I so often find myself asking the same questions you did, but about this ENTIRE generation (rather than just the boys). I’m 30, and I see such disrespect for those who came before them, from the generation currently coming up in the world. It truly saddens me. I definitely think praying will help, but I sometimes feel like it’s not enough. What can we DO, to help these young men and women grow up to become leaders? How do well-rounded, respectful men today step up and lead by example for the boys who have no solid male figure in their life right now? How can we, as women, show young girls that there’s more to being cool and desired than looks and sex? That it runs so much deeper, that it’s OK to respect yourself and your body … and the right man will follow suit someday?

    I think what saddens me the most is that I tried to step up and help. I tried to volunteer at my local high school. But I’m not a mother, and I’m not married. They wouldn’t even return my phone calls. So, I gave up and began working on something else in my life.

    Now, I wasn’t brought up a Christian, nor am I am Christian now. However, I still enjoy reading posts such as this; they’re well-meaning with good points to consider. So, I’m not an expert on the prayer thing. But, I have prayed, and I have watched prayers answered. But from my experience, I’ve also learned an important part of prayer is LISTENING. Really listening, and then acting on those answers. Taking action is the most imporant thing we can do. So beyond praying for the men (and women … I believe strongly that women can be just as good leaders as men) in our lives, what are the answers to our prayers telling us we can do, to help move them in the right direction?

    Sorry for the novel! I had a lot to say. LOL!

    Reply
  94. Anne
    June 12, 2012

    Definitley, pray for your future husband, but once God joins you, dont forget to continue to pray! Being maried just shy of 29 years, I can tell you that praying for your husband is critical. The more I pray, the more I see him grow spiritually in his walk with God, and in love towards me. God intended wives to pray for their husbands, the problem is so many of us are not being obedient in this area. Lord help us to be faithful, to step up and to pray!!! I love how you include all men, not just our husbands, calling us to go into battle on their behalf. If enough of us faithfully did this, our country would be a different place. Lord help us to answer the call to prayer!!

    Reply
  95. Valeria
    June 12, 2012

    Hi, I’m from Mexico and I love the posts of Jeff and I really enjoyed this post because I’ve always wondered what should I do in at this age about the waiting for God’s man for my life, right now I’m doing a research paper for my school and I wanted to ask you if you can send me some information about Great Women of the Faith and about God’s power through them. Thank you again, and may God use you guys a lot more , God Bless =).

    Reply
  96. Laura
    June 12, 2012

    I love this post! I’m 16 years old, & I love praying for my future husband. It’s hard sometimes to be patient, but I have to remind myself that I am only 16, and that Gods timing is not my timing! I did have a question though… I once listened to a speaker who saved her first kiss for the day she was married. I haven’t ever kissed anyone so I have thought and prayed about maybe doing that for me. I guess what I am wondering, if there is such a thing as saving TOO much for your future husband? Like what if I decided to save my first kiss for my wedding day, and then I get to the alter and I find that I don’t have a physical relationship with him? I would love to hear your thoughts! thank you (:

    Reply
    • Anna
      June 14, 2012

      No way can you save too much for your future husband!

      My first kiss was on my wedding day…and while I was nervous because my first kiss was in front of EVERYONE, I wouldn’t change it for the world. My then boyfriend (now husband!) and I didn’t hold hands (or hug or touch in any way!) for the first few months of our relationship, simply because we wanted to focus on deepening our friendship without being distracted. As our friendship deepened and with it a mutual agreement that God wanted us to continue our relationship, then the hand-holding and brief hugs were gradually introduced. Everything was so special because we didn’t jump into it quickly…and all the time, we evaluated whether any of our physical contact was causing us to struggle with impure thoughts, etc (we didn’t really talk to each other in much detail about this, but me with my parents and him with close godly friends). And we agreed early on that we’d keep our first kiss for our wedding day (if we were to get married). We wanted to save such a special thing for our future spouses (whether that was us or not!)….and realized that even engagements can be broken off and so we must not view ourselves as husband and wife until we really were.

      It wasn’t always easy, but I’m so thankful that God helped us keep our first kiss (and really everything other than hand holding and brief hugs) until our wedding day. I think if we hadn’t, we would’ve struggled with impurity (both thoughts and possibly actions) big time. We sought to stay far away from the “line” of impurity (even though some of our friends thought we were crazy!) and not let it cloud our relationships with God or the discovery process of whether He was calling us to be married.

      As for getting to the altar and not wanting a physical relationship with your husband, we definitely didn’t have that experience. It was actually the exact opposite! We loved each other so much and had been holding back for the sake of purity, protecting one another, and pleasing God. When we were married, we no longer had those restrictions and it was wonderful. On our honeymoon, we took our time becoming comfortable with kissing, etc…and because we had already built a deep friendship and true love for one another, it was truly a great experience. We also knew we had the rest of our lives to grow in this area, so we didn’t need to rush anything. I know other couples who’ve remained pure prior to marriage and know they say the same thing.

      We’ve now been married two years, and everything that we saved for marriage is still so incredibly special (although so is holding his hand and hugs!). So please stick with your desire to save your first kiss for marriage! If your future boyfriend is a godly man, he’ll want to respect your desire to do that and should see the wisdom in it too.

      We need more young people like you…it is encouraging to hear that you’re thinking about purity and praying for your future husband. May God bless you richly!!!

      Reply
  97. Leslie Hermann
    June 12, 2012

    Honestly, I read and re read this. It is so true. And wow I was instantly convicted on how I do not hold my husband up in prayer more than I do. I can’t thank you enough for opening up our eyes to see what one of the most important roles is as women to our men.

    Reply
  98. Levi
    June 13, 2012

    As a man who strives to love God with all my heart, all my mind, all my soul and all my strength in accordance with His Word, I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for praying us through the daily battles we encountering on all fronts both from within ourselves and by the enemy. Temptations and lies come from all angles in this increasingly wicked society from porn, to scantily clad women, substance abuse, sexual innuendos, sexual orientation perversion, the perversion of marriage, pressure by co-workers and even family members to join into sin with them, temptations to be proud, to seek after gifts rather than the Giver, lies from false religions, false gods and Godless belief-systems, and that’s just to name a few. Yet and still, God remains the same awesome, omnipotent, omniscient and almighty Savior to which none can compare:

    Isaiah 45:22-24:
    “Turn to me and be saved,
    all you ends of the earth;
    for I am God, and there is no other.
    By myself I have sworn,
    my mouth has uttered in all integrity
    a word that will not be revoked:
    Before me every knee will bow;
    by me every tongue will swear.
    They will say of me, ‘In the Lord alone
    are deliverance and strength.’”

    From the bottom of my heart, thank you to all that have been praying for us men. And for those who haven’t, it’s never to late to start. Thank you and Christ bless you all.

    Reply
  99. Ruan
    June 14, 2012

    Hi, I read this and got chills. It’s shameful, God wants a fearless generation. A radical generation that boasts of His love.
    A new standard of cool. Obedience is cool! What I learned is life is difficult and yes there will be trouble, but I made it worse for myself by sinning.
    Satan was totally destroyed me, I was like Jeff, addicted to porn, believing I can sin and get away with it. and have all the blessing in the world, when there is nothing God can give us that we can enjoy while we are deliberately sinning. Men have been going at marriage the wrong way. Love your wives like Christ loves the church.Serve her, do her dishes make up her bed, Humble yourselves and love her and she will respond with love, not the other way around(women regularly do this and the men don’t respond at all, our mothers did this every day and we didn’t respond with the affection a wife needs). the way we learn from Jesus how to love. He serves us, His love for us compels us to be obedient and to respond with love. This is that Generation, chosen… a new standard of cool. Yeshua is cool! I love you guys, Your spoken word changed my life Jeff. Inspired me to play for the team, not just wear the jacket. Thanks. You know about David Bowden right? All the best. I’ll pray

    Reply
  100. Robin
    July 11, 2012

    great post. also, if you do a study on the word “helper” in context of what God created in Eve, you will see that the very same word is used in Scripture for GOD HIMSELF – meaning that our highest calling as a help to our husbands (current or future) is to be their ALLY – a war analogy – and fortress. not replacing God, of course, but a human, physical display of God’s work and protection in their lives. we are warriors :)

    God bless you both as you walk together in Him toward marriage and family :) really appreciate jeff’s ministry and yours!!!

    Reply
  101. Eugenia
    August 31, 2012

    Hey Alyssa! I loved what you said! I some times sit and think, how many women out there think about it….thank you for writing this!
    I am a girls group leader (high school and and u p)at my church youth, and this year we started this book called “Fight like a Girl” by Lisa Bevere. We all absolutely love this book! It talks exactly about what you mentioned; about how we as women have a great calling, a calling to pray for the men in our lives. That just how Satan attacked Adam through Eve’s influence on Adam, he still continues to attack the women in order to bring down the leaders, make them weak. Women have a huge influence and we can really help our leaders be strong and courageous with prayer and God’s wisdom. This is a great book for all women! :)
    Thank you once again for posting this! God bless you two!

    Reply
  102. Amanda Jones
    September 1, 2012

    I read this, and my heart began to feel guilty. I have been married for almost 3 years. a few months ago, we split up. My husband had cheated on me with another woman. I was so hurt by what he had done. I tried to deal with it, and forget about it. But after a few months, I couldn’t take it anymore. After talking to friends, I thought that the only way I could be happy was to leave my husband, and learn how to be my own person….THAT DIDNT LAST VERY LONG. I realized after I left, that I still loved him dearly, and even though he made a horrible mistake, who was I to judge him. He said that He asked God to forgive him. And if God could forgive him, then who am I to keep judging him. After reading this blog, I couldn’t help but wonder if things would have been different if I had prayed for him more. One thing I’ve always struggled with is praying on a regular basis. I had gotten used to praying only with something was wrong, or when I needed something. I wasnt praying when I didnt need help. I wonder if I had prayed for my husband more, would he be a stronger servant for God? I know its all in the past now, but I still cant help but wonder. Since me and my husband have gotten back together, things have been so much better. I’ve been able to forgive him. I’m still trying to work on the trust part, but I have forgiven him. I will now start praying for my husband everyday. And not just my husband, but for my dad and my older brother. Prayer is such an amazing thing, and I will no longer take for granted the power of prayer!!! Thank you for being such a Godly person, and you are such an encouragment to me!

    Reply
  103. Jenny
    September 1, 2012

    Glory is to God! As a matter fact, I just finish fasting & praying for my fiancée, brothers, nephews, brother-in-laws, for 31 days. I’m happy to say that by the second day I noticed the difference in my fiancée, brothers, and nephews. Within a day, my fiancée started developed guard in his heart for God and been more aware of His goodness. One of my brothers is taking class to get baptize in couple of weeks. Two of my nephews give their lives to the LORD three weeks ago. A week later they were thanking God for His power and Presence in our life. I’m a walking testimony that prayers for our men allow God to show more and more of His Glory, Honor, and Mercy. We can’t change people. That’s what God do perfectly. All we can do is PUSH. Pray Until Something Happens. BE Bless!!!!

    Reply

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