More than ever today there is a deep need for sexual restoration, healing, and change. The statistics are alarming. “Sex” and “Porn” are among the top 5 search terms for kids under the age of 18 on the internet. 35% of ALL internet downloads are pornographic. Every second $3,075.64 is being spent on porn. On average there are 116,000 searches for “child pornography” every day. Everyday there are an estimated 68 million pornographic search engine requests. In 2006, the pornography industry was larger than the revenues of the top technology companies combined; Microsoft, Google, Amazon, eBay, Yahoo!, Apple, Netflix, and EarthLink. Sex is the #1 topic for internet searches. The average age of initial pornography exposure is eleven. 56% of divorce cases involved one person having an obsessive interest in pornographic websites (For more stats, click here).
“Sex” and “Porn” are among the top 5 search terms for kids under the age of 18.
The fact of the matter is pornography and a distortion of sex is completely destroying us. Christian pastors continue to be found in infidelity, sex scandals, and secret sin. There seems to be little difference between Christians and non Christians in their sexual behavior (in fact a recent CNN article cited that 88% of non-christians aren’t waiting for marriage, and 80% of Christians aren’t waiting either in the coming generation-read here). A Christian’s sexual behavior can hardly be distinguished from the non believing person these days. The only difference is probably that the Christian suffers way stronger from guilt, shame, and brokenness because they know better. That was me at least. Before I was a Christian I sought almost entirely to find my identity in women. The society told me to be a man I had to sleep with a lot of girls, and so I did. But it only led me down a path of more hurt, guilt, and emptiness. It took me years to realize I was doing it primarily because no one in my life told me I was a man, so I had to go prove myself and remove all shadow of a doubt. I see looking back that the lack of a father figure in the home is devastating to sexual behavior. It was through these thoughts and a range of circumstances I came to Jesus and saw his beautiful redemption and fullness given freely in the cross.
The problem though was almost all my other temptations (such as drinking, smoking, etc) began to fade except the power of sex seemed to change little. I still desired to run to it when I was mad, or needed satisfaction. The only change was now I also simultaneously hated it. I would do it and then just loathe myself for doing something I knew God did not condone. It was a true Romans 7 battle of the flesh and the spirit warring against each other. I would struggle with questions such as “If I’m a Christian why do I still struggle? Why does it seem I have no power to conquer this? Am I saved? Does God love me?” On top of that I was going to a church that seemed perfect. Due to the fact they always put a clean and squeaky guy up on stage to share his testimony on Sunday, I figured I was the only one having these problems and struggles. It was right at that time I was close to throwing in the towel on my walk because it was just too difficult and depressing, when some older godly man started to share with me their struggles, their hurts, and their hard spots in their marriage. They started to be transparent, raw, and real showing the true meaning of boasting in the cross of Christ alone. At first I was amazed and shocked. I remember thinking for the first time, I wasn’t alone. It was through that period that I finally began to experience victory and see just how beautiful Jesus’ redemption was because I had freedom to struggle. The truth is, the fact we wrestle is one of the biggest signs we are saved to begin with. Do dead people wrestle? Do corpses struggle? No. It is only because we have been made alive that we are a new creation.
Because the truth is, the fact we struggle with sin is one of the biggest signs we are saved to begin with.
What an encouraging testimony… the fact is that we all struggle, but God is big enough to overcome any addiction. I love what you said: “start looking and striving towards the face of Jesus, and purity will happen as a by-product.”
I too have a history of sexual interactions with men… and even as I began to grow closer to God I found I, like you, continued to run to that for satisfaction or some kind of proof that I was worth something. It was as if God wasn’t enough to “feel good.” And He’s not just a feeling — He’s so much more than that. The deeper I fall in love with Him, the less I crave the things of the world. Because He is enough to fill all the holes. He calls me as His own, and what can compare to that?
Thank you for sharing. I continue to be encouraged by your ongoing honesty and testimony. God Bless.
It has been so refreshing to come across your videos via my son. Thank you for being unafraid to speak the truth in love. May God help us as believers to live it, love always, and to share
Perfect timing for me… this is exactly what i needed to hear…thanks
well written, this is the biggest least talked about topic facing the church today.
Well said!
Josh McDowell is working hard to share this same message of grace and victory regarding sex & pornography. Steve Brown is shouting grace from the rooftops. These are two “old white guys” who share your heart and passion. It would bless you (and them) if you could hook up to encourage each other.
Amazing! Thank you for sharing this. I have had trust in relationships crumble because of porn and because the lust the person I was with had for others was so strong. I think another important fact that you should have pointed out was that you’re not only hurting yourself when you lust for others, but you’re hurting others. Because girls like me that don’t look anywhere near perfect or like the typical “beautiful” and “sexy” women in porn are made to feel unworthy of any type of love when guys are constantly turning heads for only those kinds of girls. It made me feel unaccepted and that I wasn’t important at all when I was in the kind of relationships. That’s when I moved on and found a better life for myself. If the guy I’m with can’t respect me enough to save his thoughts for me and only me, then I can’t possibly have a relationship with him. I also never understood why it’s so hard to do that when I can do it for the person I’m with with such ease. Thankfully, the guy I’m with now has the same morals as I do, and we’ve agreed to stay abstinent. I think it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Again, thank you for sharing this wonderful and encouraging piece!
WOW! What a powerful message, thank you so much for sharing! I was truly blessed by reading this message!
I very much enjoy the positive and encouraging message you have for believers. It can’t be emphasized too much that the focus needs to be on growing closer to Jesus and allowing him to create the purity in us. Striving for perfection without the work of God in our life is setting ourselves up for a life filled with failure and disappointment.
On a fact checking note, I’m not sure where the information regarding the companies listed in comparison to the porn industry come from, but I do know that Microsoft’s last quarter net income was like $6 billion on $20 billion of revenue. I don’t say that to nitpick, I am just curious where that information comes from. It doesn’t diminish the point of the post, just a matter of curiosity.
That’s awesome. I know that feeling and this have helped me a lot.
God bless you and keep doing what you do. It’s an amazing job.
Thank you for sharing the truth of the word brother. Praise God for the atonement!!
Awesome truths! how do i implement these truths about temptation of lust in my life, in a practical way? should i think about the entertainment i expose myself to?
Hey Isaac,
In my opinion, to practically implement these truths about the temptation of lust in your life you need to: lay them down before the cross and seek Jesus’ help to fight the fleshly desires; check out xxx church (porn addiction recovery); understand the true meaning of sex and that God meant it as the ultimate expression of love for a man and a woman in a marriage; and most importantly remember that women were God’s gift to men and they deserve your respect. Our sexualised and pornified culture will tell you otherwise, but you have God on your side and with Him you will win this battle. Stay strong!
Thank you.
Thank you for this. I think just about every christian guy in the world struggles with this and so many people are afraid to be real about it. Everyone just throws out there, “you should be pure”, “no sex before marriage”, etc. It’s awesome to know that it’s not what we do that makes God love us more. I struggle with this everyday and messages like this definitely help. So again, thank you for all your encouraging messages
Thanks man. This is definitely what I needed to hear today. The guilt and shame can be overwhelming sometimes. Thankful for His grace.
Great job! RIGHT ON POINT!
Dude. This has been something on my heart lately. I’ve been struggling with porn for a while now, and I just recently came to God. However the addiction is still there occasionally. But I notice that as I’m reaching for more of God the addiction is ebbing. So amen to all that you said. Thanks for sharing the words of Christ.
Hey Jeremy, that’s so awesome to hear of you finding real life in Christ! May your journey be fruitful and blessed.
Just a few tips: lay your struggles down before the cross and seek Jesus’ help to fight the fleshly desires; check out xxx church (porn addiction recovery); understand the true meaning of sex and that God meant it as the ultimate expression of love for a man and a woman in a marriage; and most importantly remember that women were God’s gift to men and they deserve your respect. Our sexualised and pornified culture will tell you otherwise, but you have God on your side and with Him you will win this battle.
This is really an inspiration Jeff. Keep on coming up with these things
Only down side is in the tab on my browser, it only shows the first few words of the title, like “porn, sex &…” and it looks like I’ve got porn open in one of my tabs! Haha
Continue to listen to God’s words placed on your heart……society needs to hear the things you are saying, and you are speaking the truth. Keep pursuing God and he will continue to use you…..thank you for the words that need to be told to so many! May God use you, remain humble, and seek his purpose. With God’s love, Marisa
I’m married to a man who was raised to objectify women and we didn’t even realize it! Of course, it manifested itself in multiple affairs and only when he hit rock bottom, consumed with guilt, anger and anxiety, was he able to turn to Christ and seek help. He, too, thought he was alone and had too much pride to admit this sin, thinking he was a failure in God’s eyes. Today, redemption has taken place and my husband walks in freedom.
Keep speaking, Jeff~ you are helping to change a generation!
Be the change you want to see. Healing begins and ends with Jesus. Let Him start it in you
Jeff, May God give you grace, and protection as you stand and speak his truth
Thanks Jefferson!!! Love your writing style. And this message is so important to the youth (and adults) too.
As an artist myself, I focus on how to speak to women, and to reveal to them their worth as a subject and not just an object. Lately I’ve been reading a lot about how porn has hijacked our sexuality and although I feel like I know so much and I know better, I struggle with my own self worth through sex. I don’t feel like the best example for the message I’m trying to send out, but I do feel it as a calling. I wanted to thank you for putting yourself out there when so many people run away. Thank you for sharing your words and wisdom because I know that you are touching lives as you have mine. You are encouragement to keep on keeping on through my battles and to keep seeking God. Take care and thanks again.
Jeff,
Thank you. You keep talking and it keeps making sense. We use your videos (and I will likely use this) as conversation starters with the teenage youth in our church. It creates a great ice breaker to talk with these kids and counter what they are being told in public school. I have been able to share the damage sleeping around caused me when I was younger with them as an example of what not to do.
And this topic is something I struggle with, what you are saying and writing is encouraging me. So again, thank you.
Stephen
Jeff,
You have a great tallent bro. I absolutely love your work. I was a hater at first. I was slow. to the understanding of Jesus>Religion. But after I listened several times I caught on to everything you were trying to say. Your other work sexual healing was fantastic. Im very eager to hear more of your poems. The most profound thing your doing is getting Jesus out in the open. Making the REAL him known is super important. Your and inspiration to your generation, and pointing the lost in the right direction. Keep at it bro!
Your brother in Christ
Pornography is a hard addiction to brake but with the help of Jesus is possible to be free of it. Bless you!
I love this post but I could really use help with this. I am a girl who struggles with porn as well. I realized that for a long time I was just trying to stop the bahavior or act. I recently have been trying to do wat is said at the end and just focus on making christ my center but I still fall often and even if I dont fall sex is constantly on my mind. Its obviously an idol but can anyone give me advice. Cause im starting to fall away from the lord and its scarey.
i completely relate to this. while in high school i would watch pornography in between fooling around with girls. i love what you said about the warring between flesh and spirit. i despised myself afterwards. it was literally the second after i would feel so awful. i would feel so ashamed i would literally get under my covers and “hide” from God. i would wait a week or two and then come back to Him in repentence. i began to feel so hopeless because nothing i did would help me to stop. the desires of my flesh were so strong and i wouldnt be able to fight it off. i began to feel like i wasnt even a Christian because i would repent and repent and repent and i knew that God would forgive me 70 x 7 times but i also knew that to repent meant to turn away from your sins as well as admitting them. i simply wasnt turning away from it because the next month or so i would end up right were i was last. i despised my self. i couldnt even look in a mirror. it wasnt until recently that ive understand the extent of God’s grace. His Grace is an ocean in which i am sinking right this moment. watching your videos and reading your posts have helped me to understand that i am wiped clean and am perfect in Christ Jesus despite all my shortcomings and that He loves and wants me in the very moment that i am sinning. thats powerful and i worship because of it. I love Jesus. thank you.
Thank you for this! It means a lot for me!!! May God bless you
Jeff,
All I can really say is Thank You. I have been through a lot in life like many of these people posting on here. I have been raised in the ministry my whole life, gone through a family breakup, and I’m a worship leader. I still find myself not fully giving the struggle of pornography to Jesus. I desire to but we all make choices to what our hearts truly desire right? I am just over trying to do it on my own and I’m no different then someone that doesn’t have Jesus except for the fact that I know. Courtney, I saw you giving great feedback to some of the people on here about (xxxchurch.com) they have a great solution going. So thank you for that.
One thing I’m trying to do is cut off my connection to accessing the internet when I’m not strong or at a weak point, wether it be phone, computer, exc. . .
Jeff I have a similar desire in my heart to speak to young people one day about being “FREE” from this struggle of sexual immorality but I need to see victory in it myself first. Thank you for your heart, transparency, & obedience in following through with your desire to see others find hope, redemption, and freedom in Jesus.
Your doing it right Jeff! Keep moving along, Keep running strong, Keep your focus on!
Keep all of us in prayer as we will you Jeff and Alyssa.
Blessings,
Nathaniel